I’m just so Freaking Tired of it all.
I’m tired of being tired, I’m tired of listening, of caring, of trying to be there for people who don’t really care themselves.
I’m tired of watching people make stupid decisions and not being able to stop them.
I’m tired of feeling like the only one who will actually say what they think, and mean it.
I’m tired of feeling insignificant, under appreciated, ignored, and stupid.
I’m tired of being stuck in a funk that I can’t quite figure out.
I’m just tired of being sad and not knowing why, but at the same time kinda knowing the reason.
I’m tired of doing busy work, of volunteering, of agreeing to help out.
I’m tired of listening when all I really want to do is talk to you.
I’m tired of pretending I’m fine.
I’m tired of not knowing how to dress for class because of the varying temperatures.
I’m tired of feeling like I can’t.
I’m tired of disappointing.
I’m tired of not knowing and of always wondering.
I’m just tired.
“There comes a point in life where you either accept whatever you’re doing and just exist, or stop talking about what you used to be and do something completely different.” ~unknown
The only way anything is going to change, is if I act to change it. I’m not stupid. I know that I’m just sitting here at 4 am complaining about my life. But so what? I get to do that if I want to. We all get to complain about our lives. Hopefully we have a person to whom we can complain to. Hopefully we don’t have to come out and say anything. Hopefully, they just know. Someone I know has a policy where you’re allowed to complain about anything to her once, but that’s it. After that, you have to present a solution.
So I guess this is just my complaint. I’m tired. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. And I’m only 4 weeks into this semester. I feel like I need a serious break from my life and the lives of those around me. If I had it my way, I’d crawl into my room/cave and just sit there until the exhaustion passed. Because it will pass. It will pass, right?
But I’m stronger than this. I’m too motivated and determined to let myself fall into a pity party. And I’m especially too mature to bring others into my funk with me. But right now I’m just tired.