Blame it on the Coffee

A blog about nothing…. but then again, it's kind of about everything.

Know when to bite your tongue… And when to scream as loudly as you can. July 18, 2010

Filed under: arguments,education,ponderings — Elizabeth @ 12:12 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

“Think before you speak”

This is something we’ve all been told. I have struggled with this concept for um, about 19 years. (you see, I seem to think with my mouth, and it just never turns out well) I also don’t believe in sugar-coating the truth, and am therefore pretty blunt, which also tends to not turn out in my favor. But regardless of the fact that the application is a little rusty, the concept is clear: just be careful about what you’re saying. Think about it, and if you think it might get you in trouble or if it’s inappropriate, just don’t say it.

But it’s not that easy.

Sometimes, you have to say it. Sometimes you have to risk it and just speak up. Say something. Tell a friend when their outfit doesn’t look right or when you don’t like their haircut. Don’t lie. They asked, they should have the truth. If you see your friend heading down the wrong path or making what you think is a stupid decision, tell them. Offer your opinion. We’re lucky enough to be able to form opinions, and should voice them with the certainty they deserve. If they disagree, fine. That’s their prerogative, too. But don’t be a bobble-head friend. Don’t just agree and nod because it’s expected. Don’t be afraid to be wrong, and don’t be afraid of an argument.

I actually enjoy arguments. Not stupid messy ones, but actual arguments. I have been known on occasion to provoke someone (usually my sister)  just to start an argument. I think it’s fun to defend a position and explain your opinions. But I’m also able to admit when I’m wrong.

I know that there are some arguments that should not be pursued. Sometimes topics should just be avoided because of past arguments that just didn’t quite turn out friendly. But some things must be pursued regardless.

Like this…I have an argument that I refuse to abandon. I simply refuse. This argument means too much to me to settle for anything less that I demand. I realize that it will require a compromise, though. But this compromise isn’t like most. It involves you getting everything that you want, and me doing twice the work so that I can please you and do what I want in life. It isn’t fair, but that’s life, right? So forgive me if I continuously bring this topic up. It isn’t just some stubborn persistent argument to me. It’s my future; it’s my dream. I WILL NOT give up on this argument. I was raised to be a strong outspoken and independent woman, unafraid to stand up for her convictions. Do not underestimate my determination in this matter. I know that I might lose, but this fact remains: I will not stop fighting you on this. There’s just too much in it for me.

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One Response to “Know when to bite your tongue… And when to scream as loudly as you can.”

  1. I like that clip about teachers too–I think most teachers do! And, I’m in the same boat as you. I have a VERY hard time hiding my true feelings. Not so much with people I don’t know, but with my very close friends and family. In my head, I feel like I want people to be fully honest with me, so I do it for them…with mixed results, of course.


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